Tuesday, October 12, 2010

This is a place of residence, man

What is new in our world, you ask? About oh, a week or so ago I decided I was a superhero. It was only for a brief moment as I was somewhere between the world of the dreaming and the world of the waking which no doubt hindered my ability to make good decisions. Good decision or not, I was ready to battle the crime world singlehandedly for the span of about 30 seconds. (You'd know thats a long time if you had been in my shoes).

I'll start at the beginning. It was a Saturday night, about 10:30 pm. I decided to bail on a night of drinking (because I'm pregnant of course:)) and instead hang out with my loved one in bed and do some reading. Luke had fallen asleep maybe 30 minutes earlier and I was dozing off so I closed my book and turned out the light (this is starting to sound like the beginning of  a logic puzzle... ever heard the lighthouse one? anyway.....). We were both sound asleep when somewhere far from dreamland, yet just down the stairs we heard a loud crash of sorts and some commotion. Now, I'm not sure if either one of us were fully awake even with that kind of noise as it was sometime later before I fully interpreted what was happening. So, loud crash and I think Luke said something to the effect of "Baby, i think there's people downstairs!" followed by "its in the middle of the night." Feeling extremely confused as to why our friends would be having a party in our living room while we were asleep upstairs, I asked "But why would people be in our house?" Remember, I'm still far from fully awake and trying to piece together what should have been a simple equation. This all passes within a matter of seconds of course and it seems we simultaneously looked up from the bed to see a figure in our doorway reaching for the light switch.  For the next 30 seconds, I process nothing. There is no rational thought because there is no thought at all. Luke yells out loudly to this dwarf/kid/thief figure in the doorway and said dwarf/kid/thief figure turns and takes flight. Instinctively and simultaneously I throw the covers off and bolt after him. Not from him, but after him because I, unbeknownst to us all am a superhero.

There are a couple of things to take in to consideration here. One, first and foremost I am pregnant. Should pregnant ladies be fighting crime? While I agree that we are pretty amazing creatures and ones to be reckoned with at times I don't think we should fit ourselves in to the category of "crime fighting superhero's". Lets just say its unsafe. Two, I have no weapons nor any knowledge of kung fu protection karate... or whatever. Third, I have no plan. As I said, there was no thought involved in this process therefore no time to plan. What was I going to do if I caught the robber/robbers? Considering I hadn't even processed the fact that we were getting robbed, I think I would have been screwed. We would have been screwed, me and our child and Luke. It was that thought that woke me up. I halted at the bottom of the stairs as the dwarf/kid/thief figure and his pals slammed out the back door. I was suddenly aware of the situation in its entirety and the fear came rushing in. I was immobile, torn between chasing them still and knowing that that would be the dumbest thing I could do.

I retreated safely back upstairs as Luke was calling 911. Because, thank god, one of us had rational common sense in the face of immediate danger. (Yet another way we balance each other out:)) I was angry and confused at my reaction... my reaction without thought. The fact that I don't even feel like I actually 'woke up' until I'd hit the bottom landing of the staircase.

The thieves came, took my cell phone and Luke's Ipod, tried for the TV amongst other things but unlucky for them they realized quickly that we were home and dropped it all in order to flee. The police came, tried to talk us into getting a gun and shooting all of the bad guys (I should have explained that my superhero moment had passed, thanks but not thanks), dusted for fingerprints and left us to barricade our broken door and scared demeanors.  They didn't catch them and won't... when I'm un-pregnant maybe I will hunt them down (kidding, kidding:))

In retrospect my action without thought intrigued me enough that I pondered on it for a bit and came up with the theory that my instinct was that of a mother bird... protecting her nest if you will. While thats cute and all it wasn't rational and it all came to a screeching halt when that managed to force itself through my brain in those brief moments running down the stairs. I have developed this innate sense of protecting my family which I find curious and simply amazing.... something that the stork delivers when he's dropping off the baby I guess :) I just need to find the balance of action and thought that will equal safety.  In the meantime Luke has made me promise not to chase after anymore robbers and I've assured him that at least for the time being I've retired my cape. Our alarm system is up and running and we make sure to leave lights on to signify that we are home. It was a learning experience in so many ways and more than anything I am extremely grateful that we are all ok. As I'm sure you can all imagine, it could have been much, much worse.